Toy Soldiers
by Cyndi
Summary: Fate is a child and we are the toy soldiers in its hands. .o G1, Ultra MagnusxCyclonus SLASH o.


Author's note: Don't ask where this came from. I rarely even write G1...but the episode "The Killing Jar" injected a plot bunny into my brain and demanded this pairing. So I give you all some Ultra MagnusxCyclonus crack!

.o

****

Toy Soldiers

.o

__

Step by step, heart to heart, left right left--  
we all fall down like toy soldiers.

--Martika, "Toy Soldiers."

.o

__

"Then we will go our separate ways, but next time we meet it will be as enemies."

"Yes...as soldiers on opposing sides."

"No more, no less."

Ultra Magnus jolted out of recharge with the deep boom of Cyclonus' voice echoing in his microprocessors. He'd been haunted by the angular purple soldier ever since their encounter with the Quintessons. For so long he thought Cyclonus was nothing more than Galvatron's lackey...a brute who had no mind or ambitions of his own.

But they thought alike. They finished each others' sentences.

Then he saw deep into those piercing red optics and glimpsed a mind so sharp it could have cut him in half. And it did...just not visibly.

Ultra Magnus buried himself in paperwork so he didn't have to think too much. Cyclonus' name came up almost as often as Galvatron's. It seared his optics like acid. Why couldn't he get that Decepticon out of his mind?

Frustrated, he slammed a data pad down just as Daniel entered the computer room. The boy seemed startled at the sight of the normally cool Autobot showing his temper.

"Wow. Ultra Magnus? Are you okay?"

"Oh...Daniel." Ultra Magnus' face burned in embarrassment. "I...haven't been having the best day."

"I can tell," Daniel eyed the fallen data pad. "Sometimes when I'm upset, I talk to my dad about it. Want to tell me about what has you upset?"

Ultra Magnus sank into his chair. "Well I--I don't know if you can assist me with this issue, Daniel."

"Aw, c'mon. Please?"

A sigh cycled past Ultra Magnus' lips. "All right, all right." He thumbed the pad he slammed down and focused on the boy. "There is someone I can't stop thinking about. They're in my dreams, I see their name everywhere and no task takes my mind off this person."

Saying it out loud did little to improve his sullen mood.

Daniel chuckled, trying in vain to hide it behind his hand. "You're in love."

"What?"

"My dad said he felt the same way after he first talked to my mom."

Ultra Magnus' anger rose again, but he didn't let it show in his face or voice. His tone remained neutral. "How to I deal with it, then?"

Turning to the door, Daniel smiled over his shoulder and said, "Tell whoever it is how you feel. Maybe they're just as scared as you are to admit their own feelings."

Right. Talk to Cyclonus. Sure. He'd get blasted apart just for trying!

"What if this person isn't well liked by--"

"If you really like 'em that much, it shouldn't matter what others think. Go with this," Daniel patted his own chest. Then he slipped out the door and left Ultra Magnus stewing in silence.

.o

Talking to Cyclonus proved nearly impossible. Ultra Magnus glimpsed him in battle several times over the next few weeks, but never got close enough to shout at him, let alone speak. It was maddening to see the one he desired slip away. He spent the time between battles alone in his quarters so others didn't have to see his sullen mood.

He dreaded the battlefield.

He dreaded looking at himself in a mirror.

He dreaded the shame he'd incur if his friends ever found out he harbored feelings for a Decepticon.

The next time Ultra Magnus participated combat, he dove into a trench for cover and landed smack in a puddle of freshly bled energon. Blobs and streaks of it formed a trail ending in a slumped form resting against the opposite wall. It lifted its head and Earth's fading twilight gleamed off cold, angled silver cheeks and piercing red optics.

"Come to finish me off?" Cyclonus' low, rumbling voice matched the tone of an explosion nearby.

"There would be no honor in that." Ultra Magnus replied. Inwardly, he shook like a leaf. "I seem to recall you mentioning that warriors like you and I should meet our end in battle."

"So?" Cyclonus kept a hand firmly clamped over the wound in his left chest plate. Whoever shot him barely missed his Spark. Glowing energon leaked through his fingers to pool on the ground next to his hip.

"This doesn't look like what you had in mind for 'meeting your end in battle.'"

Oh, that was lame and Ultra Magnus knew it. He did not look away when Cyclonus glared red daggers at him.

He hedged, "I know how to repair a wound like yours. I'm no medic, but I have some knowledge."

Cyclonus narrowed his optics and for a moment he appeared ready to clobber Ultra Magnus. The rage hung in the sharp angles of his visage. Then, suddenly, he slumped back against the trench wall and let his hand fall away from the ragged injury. Energon poured anew like rain running down a window pane. His wound was the result of a laser fired at close range. It had pierced all the way through his armor, exposing wires and circuitry.

Ultra Magnus recognized the damage pattern. He'd seen it on himself many, many times.

"Galvatron did this."

"Your point?" growled Cyclonus.

"I don't see how you can stand to work under somebody that out of his microprocessors." Ultra Magnus pulled a small tool kit from the panel in his side. He went to work placing clips on the damaged energon lines. "You're brilliant."

"So is Galvatron!"

Ultra Magnus used tiny forceps to wrap a polymer bandage around the clamped energon line. It'd encourage Cyclonus' repair system to seal the wound faster. He removed the clamps, wiped them clean and set them back in the tool kit, which he then placed back behind its proper panel. "Do you _really_ believe that?"

"I have nothing else to believe in. I'm just a soldier."

And the world stopped for a beat. Was Galvatron's insanity all Cyclonus knew?

"So am I."

"I'm expendable. My life is dedicated to Galvatron's cause and if that means I give my life then so be it." His sudden smile could freeze the hottest sun. It dropped when he looked away. "I know how much I'm worth and it isn't much...if this wound doesn't indicate that already."

Ultra Magnus cupped Cyclonus' face and turned his head so their eyes met, "You're worth plenty."

The odd look Cyclonus gave him made him realize what he'd done. Try as he might he could not make his hand move. He studied the other mech's face closely. Cyclonus had scratches and dings marring the very edges of his features. The marks were all over his armor, even in strange places like his joints and the backs of his hands.

These weren't battle scars. Galvatron abused him.

"I don't want your pity!" Cyclonus snarled, shoving Ultra Magnus' hand off his face. Moving so suddenly jarred his wound and he grimaced. "We may be soldiers, but Decepticons are vastly different from Autobots! Serving Galvatron is a great honor!"

"Honorable?" Ultra Magnus balked. "Since when is taking that insane bot's abuse honorable?"

"Pain means nothing."

"It's no way to live. Are pain and hatred all you know?"

Suddenly, Cyclonus laughed. It was a bitter, grating sound that made him clutch at his wound. "You know nothing of these matters. You Autobots are too soft for this war. It's amazing any of your kind still exist."

Ultra Magnus felt smaller than the dust motes hanging in the air around them. His sensors picked up a missile heading their way and he had no time to think of a decent retort.

"Incoming!"

They dove for the same little corner just as the explosion pounded reality into submission. Half of the trench collapsed and neither Ultra Magnus nor Cyclonus could lay anywhere except against each other. Cyclonus seemed to take amusement from Ultra Magnus' discomfort at their current situation. Ultra Magnus focused hard on _not_ noticing he could feel every inch of the very person he desired.

"Don't you want anything more from life? More than..." Ultra Magnus gestured to the chaos above, "this?"

"What I want doesn't matter."

"Is that what he tells you?"

Cyclonus growled and refused to answer, which told Ultra Magnus everything.

"There's more to life than this."

"I am just a soldier. I live to serve, to follow." There was bitterness in his biting tone, a flicker of emotion that sparkled and died somewhere behind his red eyes. "Everything else is meaningless."

Ultra Magnus laid his hand over the wound Galvatron inflicted. His Spark throbbed in its casing and heat made its way through his neural network. "Maybe you mean something to _me_."

"Since when?" Cyclonus raised a brow.

"Does it matter?" Ultra Magnus sighed. Either Cyclonus had no clue or he was being difficult on purpose. He filled him in, "We worked together, remember?"

It grew silent outside of the trench.

"Ah, the Quintessons and the negative universe. You were impressive." The compliment sent ripples of happiness through Ultra Magnus' mind. Cyclonus quickly dashed it when he blithely went on, "I also recall saying the next time we met, it would be as enemies. Or have you forgotten about our little tryst on the asteroid? You certainly weren't talking like this then."

"I was doing my job."

"So was I." Cyclonus snorted, "Your problem is you have too much. It's hard to fear death when you have nothing to lose."

"You have your life." Ultra Magnus eyed Cyclonus' lips. They were thin, harsh and pointed. Even while relaxed they gave the appearance of scowling.

"We all have a life. When one is lost, we avenge it and move on. Seeing as I have no one who would do that for me, no one to even remember my name, I have nothing to lose."

"I'd remember," said Ultra Magnus.

And Cyclonus peered at him through the scant few feet separating their faces. His crimson optics reflected fire and smoke.

Now or never.

Ultra Magnus leaned across the small distance. Inch by inch so Cyclonus had a clear view of his intentions. The other mech didn't move a servo. Ultra Magnus just gave him a peck before drawing back a half inch. When he saw no motions to discourage him, he dove in again for a deeper, harsher kiss. Cyclonus' mouth was smoky and hot.

Suddenly, Ultra Magnus felt hands seize the back of his head as a long, ridged glossa swept the roof of his mouth, the insides of his cheeks and the backside of his lips. His assault almost sent Ultra Magnus into overload right there in the trench. He drew back to cycle cool air through his heated systems.

"Am I still your enemy?" he panted.

Cyclonus kept his expression carefully composed, but his eyes were burning coals. "We are soldiers on opposing sides."

With that, he grabbed the wall and kicked his legs until he'd removed the debris from his lower half. Ultra Magnus laid there in silence while Cyclonus vaulted over the edge of the trench. He stood a moment, clutching his wound, and Ultra Magnus thought his sharp, angled face looked savage against the smoky night sky.

"Cyclonus!" Galvatron roared, "Report! Any survivors?"

Cyclonus still held Ultra Magnus' eyes. "No. The are none."

The next sound Ultra Magnus heard was a clank and footsteps walking slowly away. Cyclonus did not look back.

Ultra Magnus' attention moved to the object Cyclonus tossed into the trench. It was a disposable memory chip. A somewhat archaic piece of technology, but useful for passing around small bits of information. He scanned it for viruses before pressing it to his neck cables and downloading the information.

Coordinates, a date two weeks from today and a time. They were punctuated by two words: _Come alone_.

.o

It would be the longest two weeks of Ultra Magnus' life. He continued his pattern of laying low and talking to almost no one...he even pretended he wasn't in his quarters when Daniel rang his door chime. Sometimes he heard people whispering about him in the halls, speculating about why he was so quiet and reclusive. He let them talk because he certainly wasn't going to say a word.

The events in the trench played endless loops through his consciousness. Those soft lips were so raw and perfect against his own. Flashes of fear followed each repeat--it could be a trap. What if he walked right into Galvatron's clutches like some lovesick Earth dog? At the same time he cursed himself for doubting. Cyclonus viewed himself as a soldier and nothing else. He didn't engage in such petty acts. If he was planning to hold someone for ransom, he kept no secrets about it.

Finally the long fourteen days passed and Ultra Magnus set out in the middle of the night. The coordinates led to a valley not far from the desert where he was stationed. Cliffs and rocks provided deep cover from all but anyone who happened to pass directly overhead.

Ultra Magnus found Cyclonus leaning on the rocky wall. His arms were crossed, one foot was propped on the granite behind him and the rising moon cast him in harsh silhouette. He looked like a ghost. His head turned when Ultra Magnus kicked a small rock and his red eyes had the bite of a basilisk, freezing the Autobot where he stood.

"Are you alone?" His voice cracked the silence.

"Yes," Ultra Magnus nodded. "Are you?"

"If I wasn't, you would be dead where you stand."

__

Oh, Primus, what am I doing here again? "Point taken."

Those cold optics narrowed in a smirk, "Come closer."

Ultra Magnus' red and blue form shifted through moonlight and shadow. He turned to lean on the same rock wall as Cyclonus, mirroring his pose. Everything under his armor quivered from the closeness. They were alone together, two soldiers on opposing sides without a battle to distract them, yet for that moment it seemed the only thing separating them was the markings on their armor.

"Did you mean what you said in the trench?" Cyclonus' voice remained low, almost disinterested.

"Be a little more specific. I said a lot."

"Yes. How much was true?"

"I don't say things that aren't true," Ultra Magnus replied coolly.

Cyclonus advanced on him. In the darkness he was a glistening specter prowling the shadows. His footsteps made no sound. In a moment he was leaning fully on Ultra Magnus' chest, pinning him against the valley wall.

"Will you mean it when this escalates?" he rumbled from the lowest register of his voice.

Ultra Magnus tried not to notice the doubt in Cyclonus' eyes. Had he really been used so often that he approached everyone with utter dubiousness? "I wouldn't be here if I didn't mean it. I can't get you out of my mind."

"Hm." Cyclonus licked his lips, ignoring his statement completely. "We are still soldiers on opposing sides. That will not change on the battlefield."

"If that's what you want, fine." Ultra Magnus felt a sharp fingertip outline his cheek. Shivers raced through his chassis.

"Should there come a moment where I must strike you down, I will do it." That finger moved to his left antenna. "I expect the same from you."

Ultra Magnus stiffened. "I--mmh--fine..."

Hands seized his shoulders and slammed him backwards against the rocks. Thin lips glided over his throat, "This is the only place where we do not meet as enemies."

Grunting, Ultra Magnus wrapped his arms around Cyclonus' waist and reversed their postures, using his weight to pin him against the wall. "All right."

Red optics dimmed to hungry embers, "And you had better not stand me up. Miss a meeting and I will not offer again."

"You make it sound like I'm using you for a free uplink!" Ultra Magnus growled in frustration, "It's more. So much more. Why can't you believe that?"

"You love me?" Cyclonus sneered, "Prove it."

Ultra Magnus silenced him with a violent, ravenous kiss. He buried his lips in all the lines, marks and scars where the moonlight spelled out the Decepticon's life. Before he knew it their ports were open and making contact. Ultra Magnus cried out against Cyclonus' cheek plate. He rocked, kissed him and clung to his shoulders as the overload wracked his frame. Cyclonus reached orgasm without a sound, his head falling back and his face twisting in sweet agony.

But Ultra Magnus wasn't done with him. He braced his knee on the wall to change the angle of their port contact and began sending stronger pulses. Cyclonus tossed his head and gasped. Ultra Magnus felt Cyclonus' hands scrambling for purchase on his back.

The whole time, Cyclonus kept his face composed. Tension formed around his eyes and mouth as his reaction turned slowly inward. Ultra Magnus dangled on the edge of his own overload.

And Cyclonus suddenly shoved him away. Off balance, Ultra Magnus tripped over a rock and landed in an undignified heap. Cyclonus was a storm descending upon him from the night itself. He embodied the sky, the moon and the shadows while his eyes burned. Not once did his optics break contact with Ultra Magnus'.

Their ports reconnected.

Ultra Magnus reached up to cup Cyclonus' face. Cyclonus immediately grabbed his hands and slammed them down next to his head. His fingers squeezed--tighter, tighter...so tight it hurt...then his face pinched and his body arched as he overloaded again in utter silence.

"Mmh," Ultra Magnus moaned at the sight of Cyclonus arching in quiet ecstasy. His own body rattled at the edge of rapture. And by moving his hips another inch lower and bending down to nibble his neck, Cyclonus granted him release. Ultra Magnus hissed and called out hoarsely to the sky. This overload drowned his senses in static.

When he struggled back to consciousness, he found his companion sitting against the valley wall, watching the moon. For a moment he was disappointed at the missed opportunity for lying quietly together in the afterglow.

"Welcome back." Cyclonus sounded smug.

Ultra Magnus joined him by the wall. "Thanks."

They said nothing for several moments. The silence stretched on and frayed apart between the clouds drifting past the moon.

Ultra Magnus took Cyclonus' hand. Cyclonus jerked his head around to observe their interlocked fingers. The gesture seemed to confuse him. Of course it would, he probably hadn't felt a gentle caress in his life. Ultra Magnus took it a step further and slipped an arm around his shoulders, pulling him close against his side. Cyclonus appeared to tolerate rather than enjoy it--at least until Ultra Magnus rubbed his arm. Then he slipped free and got up.

"Your touch confuses me!" he scowled.

"Why? It's what people in love do."

Cyclonus curled his lip, "Not Decepticons."

"I'm not a Decepticon."

"And I am not an Autobot."

Ultra Magnus laughed. What a conundrum!

"How do Decepticons love, then?"

"The same way we fight. Harshly." Cyclonus turned suddenly and his crimson optics were fierce in the darkness. "Don't presume you can 'repair' me with your kindness. I do not require rescuing. I wouldn't change anything I've done since I was merged into Galvatron's army. I am his most loyal servant and would take my own life at his command. I came for your love and nothing else. Accept that or don't bother returning to me."

The words were acid in Ultra Magnus' ears, but he mutely bore the pain. He couldn't change Cyclonus because Cyclonus didn't _want_ to change.

"What if I just want to hold you for awhile?"

Cyclonus raised a brow. "Hold me?"

Ultra Magnus moved behind him and slipped his arms around his waist. "Is it really so bad?" he whispered against Cyclonus' throat while his hands wandered over the other's battle scarred purple torso.

"A little friendly advice," Cyclonus purred, though the sound was glacial, "Fate is a child and we are the toy soldiers in its hands. One day that child will grow bored and break us, so treat everything as if it were the most fleeting thing you'll ever see. Soon, you'll realize that nothing matters when a nanosecond separates you from oblivion. Now do you see why it's foolish to care?"

Ultra Magnus' arms tightened around Cyclonus' waist. He whispered into his audio, "I always thought everything should be cherished even _more_ because it goes by so fast."

"Hm." Cyclonus pulled free from Ultra Magnus' arms and faced him. "I should go. Galvatron will wake from recharge in one hour."

"When can we meet again?" Ultra Magnus tried not to sound too disappointed.

"Tomorrow. Same time, same place."

And so, for the next year, their nightly meetings continued.

.o

An explosion threw Ultra Magnus aside like a toy. He flipped head over heels to land facedown in the sand. The tiny particles grated on his face and confused his optical sensors. He sat up, wiping furiously at the painful grit before it punished him further. First Aid was going to have fun cleaning him out later. Sand in the joints, how embarrassing!

A shadow fell over him. He looked up and a purple reflection flickered in his blue optics.

"Cyclonus..."

"This is the battlefield. Get up!"

Ultra Magnus saw the other mech's weapons coming online. Pain tore into his mind as protocols scrolled through his processors. His own weaponry came to life almost of its own accord. He imagined this child Cyclonus spoke of--a massive shadow with him in one hand and Cyclonus in the other--lining them up for the final kill.

He knew deep in his Spark that he had to be a soldier first, even if it meant hurting the one he loved. Looking up, he noticed Cyclonus lacked his usual scowl. He, too, was pained by this moment.

Sand shifted as Ultra Magnus regained a vertical base. He ached to the core.

Cyclonus aimed his weapon. Just before Ultra Magnus did the same, he noticed alarm crossing Cyclonus' face.

Pain tore through Ultra Magnus' torso. Sudden, blinding and all consuming. He looked down at the energy blast passing through his midsection and would never remember hitting the ground. One moment he was in pain and the next he lay on his side, static intermittently clouding his vision. Cyclonus landed on his back beside him. Half his face had been blasted off and naked circuitry sent smoke into the ashy air. His intact optic glowed brightly, defying the destruction surely wrought throughout his body. Energon poured from his lips. His jaws twitched in death spasms.

"Cyc--Cyclonus!" Ultra Magnus choked. He found Cyclonus' hand and clasped it with the little strength still left in his dying body.

The remains of Cyclonus' face twitched. He turned his head and met Ultra Magnus' gaze. His eye was flickering on the verge of going out.

"'Magnus," Cyclonus whispered. "Who--will...remember us?"

"Whoever writes our stories in the stars, I guess."

"What...an...Autobot...thing to...say..."

Cyclonus moaned, his mouth and good eye flying open wide. Something in his torso--probably his fuel pump--exploded. Once that went, everything flammable under his armor began to burn. His intakes hitched and black smoke poured from his lips. He convulsed in pain, his single optic flaring like a flame glowing its brightest before dying. Ultra Magnus swallowed the heat in his throat and rubbed Cyclonus' fingers, trying to comfort him.

"I love you, Cyclonus," he said, kissing his lover's scarred knuckles.

Ultra Magnus felt Cyclonus squeeze his hand. Then the light in his optic shrank like a candle under glass. His body went limp and still, his vibrant purple fading slowly to dull gray. Smoke continued its escape through his open mouth. At least he couldn't feel the pain of his internals melting anymore.

A cannon barrel pressed against Ultra Magnus' head. It was hotter than the fire inside Cyclonus.

"You Autobots have a pathetic tendency to linger." Galvatron's voice cut in.

The cannon discharged with a bang. Ultra Magnus' world became white-hot agony. In the space of a second he saw his whole life flash in the whiteness...

.o

...and then it is all over. No more metronome beating out the tick and tock of time because he has fallen from its grasp.

Ultra Magnus is sitting on an asteroid. He looks around in the darkness and notices he no longer bears the Autobot sigil anywhere on his body. Far below, the arms of a spiral galaxy whirl around its center like the hands of an intricate clock. He does not wonder how long ago he arrived because he's been here forever, watching the stars.

Now he can remember everything, even things from before he existed. Memories and emotion sweep through him in waves. The galaxy's reflection dances across his blue optics.

"How strange," he whispers.

"Strange? No." And the hand Ultra Magnus just now realizes he's still holding tightens its grasp. "Unexpected? Yes."

Ultra Magnus freezes. He turns to the right where Cyclonus lounges beside him. His Decepticon marking is gone. The scars marring his body are smoothed away and he is _stunning_ in the starlight that glows between them like the forgotten strands of time.

"What?" Cyclonus arches a brow. "No 'hello?'"

"Hello," Ultra Magnus blurts because he doesn't know what _to_ say in this situation. "Your marks..."

"I know." Cyclonus sits up and kisses him. His lips are hot and hungry. Ultra Magnus grabs his shoulders and answers with equal fervor. It means a lot to hold him after..._everything_.

"Cyclonus--"

"We are still toys," Cyclonus whispers, "But now we belong to someone less inclined to break us."

Ultra Magnus knows who his lover is talking about. He smiles at how light catches Cyclonus' sharp visage.

Cyclonus climbs to his feet and gazes contemplatively at the galaxy spinning below. Facing Ultra Magnus again, he extends his hand. The movement is graceful, no longer encumbered by chipped joints and damaged wiring.

Ultra Magnus eyes the offered hand. "Well, Cyclonus...what now?"

And it is silent between them. Forever passes in the span of a Spark-beat.

"What now?" Cyclonus smiles. His grin is a thin razor, stiff and cold just like the rest of him, but the two words he says are in his eyes and completely the opposite to everything he believed before now: "We cherish."

Love floods through Ultra Magnus. It is a sensation more powerful than any overload. He takes the offered hand and lets Cyclonus pull him upright. They kiss fiercely, roiling in passion between light and dark and _forever_. The past no longer matters because they have _now_.

"Ready?" Cyclonus whispers.

"Of course," Ultra Magnus is lost in his eyes. "Let's go."

Together, hand in hand, they step off their worldly cares and descend into eternity.


End file.
